Thursday, March 17, 2011

Listening Skills

This is what happens when you don't hear well and your six year old is talking through multiple gaps left by dearly departed baby teeth:

"Mama, can we have pizza for dinner?"

"What baby? You want to please have a winner? A winner for what?"

"PIZZA, Mama. Pizza for dinner."

"Oh, sure, I guess the winner can have pizza. What contest? Is this for school? If it's a spelling bee you'll have to study, you know."


"Listen here, little man, we do not call people suckers. It's not a nice word, for one thing, and if you are talking about the winner it makes you sound like a sore loser."

"Excuse me, but I didn't say that. I was talking about dinner."

"Escuchame? Are y'all doing Spanish in school? Good job with the accent, but don't talk to me like that. It's disrespectful to tell a grown up they have to listen to you, even if you say it in Spanish."

Mama rinses the last dish and turns off the water. If the Pirate wants to practice Spanish, she can't hear him well with the background noise.

"Okay, buddy, you go grab the Spanish flashcards. All that talk about pizza sounds good. What do you think about ordering one tonight? "

"Pizza, yay!"

"Just okay? I thought you loved pizza! Don't worry, I'll order the dipping sauce you like for the crust. Just a minute, though. I'm going to do it online. They always mumble over the phone."


  1. Hilarious! And you're right, those phone order takers always mumble :D

  2. Awesome! Reminds me of this conversation I had with my son when he was 3:

    Me: What does M-A-X spell?

    Max: Spells me!

    Me: No, it spells Max. M-E spells me.

    Max: M-E spells you?

    Me: No, Y-O-U spells you.

    Max: Y-O-U spells Max?

    Me: No, M-A-X spells Max. Y-O-U spells you.

    Max: Y-O-U spells me?

    Me: No, M-E spells me.

    Max: M-E spells Daddy?

    Me: No, D-A-D-D-Y spells Daddy. M-E spells me.

    Max: M-E spells me?

    Me: That's right!!!! M-E spells me!

    Max: M-E spells Max!

    Me: No, no…M-A-X spells "Max"…

  3. I used to play a game with my daughter. I'd count her feet, left-right-left, and determine she had three! Of course she objected, saying I'd counted the left foot twice, whereupon I'd start on the right side to prove her wrong. It's so much fun to mess with their little heads.

  4. Rick, I had the M-E spells me conversation, too. Adorable albeit frustrating.

    Steve: Oh, yes. It were always mighty temptation to mess with their little heads. We have ours believing that the whole world was black and white until the 1960's or so and that's why old movies don't have color.

    Nicole: Yes. Patience. That's what I'm aiming for.