Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Animal Dialogue

TBIM is out of town. He usually lets the dogs out last thing at night and they get a "cookie" when they come back in. He trained them or they trained him. You be the judge.

Stage: Dark. Quiet. Kids in slumber, house at peace. Quiet rumblings of dryer and sussurations of dishwasher.

Mama: Okay! Everybody out. Get busy!

Dogs exit stage.

Dogs re-enter.

Lulu: Snuffle, whuff, snort, happy dance. (Dog-ese for "I love you! Love, love, love you! Love ya, mean it! Good stuff comin'?"

George: Elegant, dignified wave of gorgeous plumage he calls a tail. ("Yes, milady, favor us with a courtesy.")

Mama (oblivious): Good dogs! Good job!

Lulu: BIG happy dance!

George: Happy shuffle.

Mama moves to stage right, the living room. Mama reclines. Dogs follow in disbelief.


Scene: Mama at ease on sofa. George resigned on floor. Lulu darting back and forth to the door in the universal code for gottago gottago GOTTA GO!

Mama: You just went out! You can't be serious. No. Uh-unh. No way.

Lulu: Squirmy wriggles.

George: Sad gaze of the betrayed.

Lulu: More squirmy wriggles. ("No, srsly, I mean it!")

Mama: Fine. But take care of business this time.

All: Hustle to the back door. Dogs exit.

George and Lu: Promptly return to door. 

Mama: OOooh! I coulda had a V-8! Cookies!

Crunchings and munchings for George and Lu, tranquility at last for Mama.

The End.

OH! Except for the cat, who tried to follow my roastbeef sandwich INTO MY MOUTH. Saucy little minx.


  1. *giggling too hard to formulate witty comment*

  2. Who's the saucy little minx? You be the judge.


  3. @ Stephen and Heather: Glad you got a chuckle! It made me giggle, too.

    @ Pete: Saucy, definitely. Minx, perhaps. Little, not so much. Almost six feet of saucy minxiness.

  4. 2 dogs, 2 cats here and they are on their own time schedule for when treats must be produced. And the damn time change was not in their calendar, thank you very much.

    Our oldest, the beagle, bays to let me know when he thinks it's treat time. And he bays a lot. Means me saying 'Noooo' in a baying tone to his deaf little ears. Hope he reads lips.

    Almost six feet of saucy minxiness sounds awesome.

  5. @ Sarah: Ha! Beagles are trouble. Sweet little faces with great big opinions. And voices.

    And tkx ;)